Greg Hartnett

I have always been fascinated with language. Few things do I value more than the intricacies of expression through the verbal and written word. I find that the people I admire most are experts of expression, and fellow language enthusiasts. Some have turned their love of language into a profession: the comedic genius, George Carlin; MIT professor and activist, Noam Chomsky; or master essayist Gore Vidal. All of these men understand and appreciate the role of language in our society, and painstakingly labor in choosing the precise words to convey a particular emotion or thought.

No facet of life is immune from the gravity of communicating properly. From the most serious of issues to the mundane tasks we all run, if you don’t express yourself properly, you’ll find that you don’t get what you desire. I’m sure that you’ll notice that the most successful people are often the most eloquent - surely not a coincidence.

One of my favorite nuances of language is the widespread use of euphemisms - a mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing (i.e. downsizing instead of firing). I much prefer the use of dysphemisms, but that just goes with my status of in-house agitator.

There is perhaps no expression that bothers me more than hearing somebody say “Well, to be honest with you…” I used to use the expression as well, until a respected English Literature professor gave me a verbal bitch slap. Most people use the expression to preface a statement that they believe will either surprise, or go against what they believe the listener expects to hear. I understand the use of the expression (serving as a space filler and warning to the listener), but admonish those who utter the phrase. What are you saying to your listener? “OK, now I am going to be honest with you. Before, I may have been bullshitting, but on this rare instance, I am going to tell the truth.” Shouldn’t all of your statements be de facto truthful? Why preface this one statement with the proclamation of honesty? By pointing out the honest intentions of your future remark, you are discounting the inherrent honesty of your previous statements.

You are using the wrong words. Instead of using this obnoxious term, substitute with “Well, quite frankly…” or “To be frank with you”, or “To be blunt”. Any one of those phrases will convey the desired warning (hey listener get ready), without casting a potential shadow of falsification over your previous remarks. In actuality, it’s not honesty that you are preparing your listener for, it’s candidness, or surprise.

So choose your words wisely. Sometimes what you don’t say is just as important as what you do.